Tired.

I had a pretty major anxiety attack today. It coincided with a major peel I had after my shower. I am tired. 

This post below Is from a woman who has healed from Tsw. This is how I feel all the time. 

It took me a long time to understand or use the word "sick" as applied to TSW.   It took a long time for me to understand I was "sick" and so it is not so surprising that some people never saw me as "sick."    Just really burned out looking maybe (joke).   

But if you had a friend or family member with the flu, you would not expect much of them, but with this illness, people don't get that.   Can you imagine how much easier this illness would be, if everyone around you just brought casseroles and told you to stay in bed while they did everything for you, with a smile on their faces.   And while I am dreaming, I mights as well add Doctors and nurses who immeadiately understood, and cared for you with attention and compassion.   

This illness is deceiving in many ways.   You say you are feeling better one day, and you will flare before you get home.   

It will deceive you into thinking that everything around you is making it worse and some days that everything you do could possible make it better.    

The worst part, is that you can deceive yourself into thinking that it will never get better, that your skin is ruined, and that your life will never get back to normal.  

The truth is you are sick.   You deserve compassion and help, and people around you should be understanding.  

The truth is that you will have good days and bad days.   And you should try and be as healthy as possible, but this is something that you have to wait out, outlast, and be patient.  

And the truth is that it is going to end, your skin will return to normal, and your life will resume as before.  

But one of the biggest truths, if you can face it, is that in the end you will know who your friends are, who it is in your life that believes you, and who supports you.   And I can't stress enough how important that information is.   We all need to make that information into a verb and use it like a compass.   Because life with supportive people around you is going to be sweet when you are healed.    Blessing to you.

29 months Tsw and my anniversary.

Today my my hubby and I celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary. Our anniversary was on cinco de mayo and this weekend we went to our favorite restaurant the Ramos House Cafe in San Juan Capistrano. I am not healed at 29 months Tsw but last night I slept through the night without waking to scratch for the first time in a over a year.  I started my day with my usual shower and peel then got dressed and left the house about 9 went to brunch and then walked around the historic homes then antique shopping. I  getting better slowly. I used ts for 18 years and still have thick dry scales red skin on 70% of my body but it is healing. It is healing very very slow. Tsw is hard. Harder than dislocating my shoulder and harder than having a c section. Harder than potty training kids. I hope this ends soon. Prayers and healing thoughts to you all.

My hands. 28 months.

I am about to start month 29 very soon. And these are my latest hand pics. Still pretty bad but it used to cover my whole hand. I am going to beat this. 

And my legs. They are getting more and more splotchy. Not as covered. 

I feel ok wearing shorts in public. But my morning showers and peels have been hard. I peel from my neck and arms thick pieces at times and it feels very unstable when I do. The hard part is peeling so more and more bad skin. I cannot wait for this to end. 

Another flare

A few good days. Which in Tsw language means normal pain and discomfort nothing ridiculous. Now another flare. Photos than today. Day 842. ☹️

A year apart

I forgot how bad I was. This Tsw ish is too much. 

May 2015 

May 2016

This one made me cry. 

May 2015

When this is over I will be so happy. There is no way for me to write how this makes me feel. Beyond the constant pin, itching and burning is a lot of doubt and confusion. How can skin be this bad?  This much pain?  This much sadness?  

I don't know what I will do. I just hope it's over soon.