Seeing the light.

I don't know who reads this. 

But I am healing. Very slowly. I struggle everyday. I cannot believe how a drug has done this to me. A drug allowed by Fda. I really have struggled with suicidal thoughts and hopelessness. But I see the light. 

If you are on Facebook or Instagram please find me as I post more regularly on those medias. On Facebook I am Michael-Annjanette Debellis. And on Instagram i am @annjidebellis. 

One day this nightmare will end and the life I am supposed to live will be allowed to enter. I am so excited for that day. 

This is my left elbow today. Please let the healing continue. 

2 decent days

I am so grateful for the past few days. Sunday was painful and I flared a lot and felt very stiff and dry.  Since Monday I have felt an obvious relief. It is so much easier to live when you are not I constant pain. Yesterday I unloaded our trailer after a weekend trip, did 5 loads of laundry, folded and put away and cleaned my whe bathroom including the tub. I went to bed exhausted not from pain but from all I did. I woke up sore too as I have not done that much since before the new year. I am so grateful. Please let this be the downhill. I am a better mom and person when I am not in immense pain. Please. I cannot say that enough. 

Here are some pics of my hands after my shower. 

Need to heal

I follow various blogs and groups on tsw and lately there have been a lot of posts of people being healed. I am sorry but I am envious. I want to be healed. I just started month 21. Someday. Hopefully soon.